Point of Departure

I went to a blogging conference a few weeks back and learned some “do’s and don’ts” about blogging. Turns out I’m doing a lot of “don’ts” and didn’t know it. So today’s blog follows a proven, sure-fire blogging technique that is bound to win me dozens and dozens of new readers.

The Female Corporate Traveler’s Top Ten Travel Tips. Yup. I’m going to reveal my tried and true tips for how to travel better, smarter, safer, efficiently and even effectively. Here goes:

1. Do not use the seat pocket in front of you. Ever. Do not put your cell phone in there, your laptop, your wallet, your book. Nothing. I know it’s tempting but consider the facts. Planes are no longer professionally cleaned in between flights. The crew comes by towards the end of the previous flight and asks patrons to voluntarily hand over their trash. What has lurked in that seat pocket, you wonder? Here are things I have personally witnessed: used Kleenexes, mustard stained napkins, soiled diapers, food, and fingernail clippings.
2. Check bags sparingly. Learn to pack what you need in a carryon. If you feel you can’t get by with that, consider shipping your bag Fed Ex in advance.
3. Keep your bag pre-packed with some basics: travel size deodorant, curling iron, Q-tips, make up remover pads, extra clear plastic quart size bags, a comb, toothbrush, and headphones. This way, you’re not likely to forget things that are often forgotten.
4. Cough up the cash and buy the water bottle. Once you get through security and you’re heading to the gate, stop at the newsstand and get yourself a bottle of water. I know – they’ll give you something on the plane. But they will do this on their time schedule and they won’t do it when you’re sitting on the tarmac for hours. Have your own supply.
5. Pack snacks. Same principle as #4. Simply put: you just do not know how long you will be on that plane. You can sit on the tarmac, you can circle before landing, you can be redirected and you never want to be at the mercy of the crew for something to eat.
6. Don’t talk, unless you have to. I know, sometimes you’re tempted to just sneak in one or two sentences to the person next to you, but 9 times out of 10 this is a bad idea. Play it safe and don’t engage (unless you simply can’t help yourself).
7. Uberize your trip. Some airports are notorious for their long taxi lines (Chicago, Las Vegas, and LaGuardia come to mind). Uber (the private car hire service) is becoming an easy and predictable option, so download the app and have it ready.
8. Checking out is passé. I put this one in the same category as people who think “Wait for Green” means “No Turn on Red.” Hey, people, it doesn’t. If it did, it would say “No Turn on Red.” Well, same goes with checking out. Once they put that little paper under your door (and it’s accurate), you’re free to go. No one needs to know for sure. Just high tail it out of there.
9. Have a bag storage strategy. As you’re coming down the aisle, check out the overhead storage capacity. If things are filling up, go ahead and put your bag up there even if it’s 10 rows ahead of your seat. There’s no law about your bag being near you and it’s way better to be in front of you than behind you!
10. Bring Sani-wipes. If the seatback pocket is filthy, what do you think lurks on the tray table? I’m still too queasy from #1 to list the things I’ve seen on a tray table, so you’ll have to do your own thinking here. But, remember, they don’t clean wipe the tray tables between flights.

Safe travels and feel free to write and tell me your travel tips.